


III. Winchester Dads

by ShadowCas



Series: Where Do We Go From Here? (SPN Hiatus Creations 2019) [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Betaed, Father Figures, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Long coda, M/M, Ma'lak Box (Supernatural), Past Character Death, Pre-Relationship, Resurrection, SPN Hiatus Creations 2019, The Empty, Week 3, about the same as the actual show, dad!Winchesters, implied dean/cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 14:16:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19211131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowCas/pseuds/ShadowCas
Summary: Dean finally cleans up the physical mess he made with the Ma'lak box, but the emotional fallout is still high. It's bad enough that he got Jack killed, but the fact that he was meant to be his father figure is even worse. Thankfully, someone has a plan to save the world — a plan that may just give them all a second chance with Jack, too.





	III. Winchester Dads

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to sweetness47 for beta-ing.

    It isn’t until Cas is mostly healed that any of them even think of approaching the Ma’lak box. Eventually, though, something has to be done; the box can’t just sit down there forever. Dean decides that since he was the one with the bright idea of putting Jack in there to begin with, this is his cross to bear alone. Sam and Cas protest, of course, but Dean brushes them off, and insisting he has to do this without them.

    He skirts around the box for as long as he can, picking up scraps of metal elsewhere in the room and repairing the extensive damage that the walls, ceiling, and floor sustained. After several days, when those tasks are completed, he sweeps, mops, and wipes everything down until his fingers are red and raw. Finally, when there’s nothing else left to do, he brushes away the dripping guilt as best he can in order to dismantle the box and melt everything down until there’s nothing left of the wretched thing.

    When he’s done, he stands in the empty room, a room that looks completely wiped clean of his mistakes, but he knows that beneath the surface, there is a stain that will never go away. He stares at the wall, unable to repress images of the consequences of his actions.

    There is a warm hand on his shoulder, and a gravelly voice saying, “Dean, stop.” It isn’t until Dean forces his eyes into focus on Cas that he realizes he’s dug crescents into his palms with the nails of his clenched fists.

    Sam follows Cas in close behind. He doesn’t say anything, but he looks at Dean with pity that Dean can’t bear right now.

    Dean shakes his head and says, “I was supposed to be one of his dads. And I didn’t just ‘mess up,’ I fucked up so royally that it got him dead.”

    “Don’t put yourself through this again.” Sam is right to some degree; this has been an ongoing battle with Dean for the past two months, but what Sam is missing is that Dean owes this, and much more, to Jack. “You didn’t do this. Chuck did this,” Sam insists. “You did the best you could.”

    “Like Dad?” Dean counters. “Look, I know he wanted the best for us, but he wasn’t exactly Father-of-the-Year, Sam. I always thought I could be better than that. I ended up just the same as him, if not worse. Right from the beginning. I mean, when Cas died—” He cuts himself off, face filling with heat as he realizes the implications of what he’s saying, that Cas for Dean was somehow comparable to Mary for John. “We all know I wasn’t on board with Jack at first. ‘Specially when it ended up with Cas getting killed.”

    “I didn’t know that,” Cas says quietly. Dean makes a mental note to discuss this at a later date with Cas, if he can stomach it.

    “Yeah, well. It took time for me to warm up to him and I never really made that up to him. Not before gunning for him yet again.”

    He turns away from Sam and Cas, not wanting to have this discussion anymore. They both were against his plan from the beginning, so they have no right to criticize his guilt. He scowls and reasserts to himself that he fucked up big time.

    However, a woman’s voice startles him out of his stormcloud. “Unless you’d like to lament over it some more, I have some news you’ll want to hear.”

    Dean searches for the source of the sound, heart thumping from surprise, as he seeks out the fourth presence in the room, his eyes landing on Billie. Instantly, his frown deepens. “Billie,” he greets, though it’s not very warm in the way of greetings. “Come to gloat?”

    She raises an eyebrow in such a way that Dean’s skin crawls, just a little. She offers no answer.

    “Look, let’s just skip the niceties,” Dean continues. “It’s the end of the world. We told God to suck a fat one, and he broke the universe. No need for a lecture, I know.”

    Billie slinks towards them, running her fingers along the drab walls as if they’re something interesting to look at. “Hm. You boys have certainly meddled enough in the past. Changed the books more times than I can count.” She stops, only about a foot away from Dean. She lifts her brows and says, “Surprisingly, this time, it wasn’t you. _God_ has gone off-script.”

    “So if you’re not here to scold us,” Sam cuts in, and Dean is glad for Billie’s intense gaze to be off of him, “then what are you here for? There’s not much of anything we can do to stop this. Not that we aren’t trying but … it’s Chuck. No human being on Earth stands a chance.”

    “And even a fully powered angel won’t fare much better,” Cas quips. “Nevermind a broken one.”

    “You’re right,” Billie says, nodding. “There’s not much you can do. Not much you can do alone, anyway.” She levels them with an even stare. “But you won’t be alone.”

    “You’re stepping in?” Dean asks incredulously. “What happened to ‘clean hands?’”

    “The same rules as always apply. I won’t be getting directly involved, not even for this. But I can facilitate.” She pauses, the slightest smirk pulling at her lips. “A … friend, of sorts, has a plan. I’m just getting the team together.”

    “So what is this great plan?” Dean asks, not entirely willing to let hope spark up in him yet. “And who are the players?”

    “Mmm, can’t tell you that,” Billie sighs. “You three are vulnerable. If you know what the plan is, God can easily target you. Just know that something’s brewing. As for those involved… there are several powerful entities back on the board. Including a young nephilim.”

    “Jack?” Cas rasps, and Dean’s heart gives a painful lurch. “You brought him back?”

    “Is he alive?” Sam whispers.

    “Not yet,” Billie says, “but he will be when this is all put into motion. For now, he’s under protection in the only place God can’t reach him.”

    Color drains from Cas’s face. “The Empty?”

    She takes her time responding. “It’s not the Empty you’re familiar with. The Shadow is no happier about this whole apocalypse situation than you or I. What God has done is threatening to destabilize everything, and that includes the Empty. The Shadow knows that Jack is key to stopping him, so it’s taking good care of him.”

    “How do we know that?” Dean demands. “We want to see him.”

    “I thought you might say that.” Billie nods slowly, and to her right, a black, fluid substance forms, pulling and twisting itself until it swirls around in a human-shaped form. Dean registers how, in the corner of his field of vision, Cas flinches. After a moment, the black liquid recedes, though it doesn’t completely dissipate. As it draws back, Jack is slowly revealed.

    The boy blinks slowly before breaking into a toothy smile. “Cas? Sam? Dean!” He runs forward and crushes Dean in a hug, the black residue now gone. Dean, surprised by the loving greeting, flounders for a moment before wrapping his arms around Jack in return. He pushes down tears as Jack pulls away and runs to hug Sam.

    “Jack. We’re so sorry,” Sam says, hugging him warmly.

    “It’s okay, Sam.” Jack draws back and pats his arm with a smile. “I can’t tell you everything, but Billie has a plan. It’s all going to be okay.”

    Sam’s brows move inwards in realization. “Do you have your soul back?”

    “Yes,” the kid says brightly. “The Shadow fixed it for me.”

    “That’s … good,” Sam laughs, wiping at his eyes.

    Jack turns to Cas, burying his face in the other man’s shoulder as he gives one more hug. “I wanted to protect you,” Cas says.

    “I know,” is Jack’s response. “It wasn’t your fault. Any of you,” he says, looking around at them.

    Dean’s guilt weighs him down like a block of lead. “It kinda was, Jack. I mean, I tried to _kill_ you. I’m so sorry.”

    Jack shakes his head. “Dean, it’s okay. I didn’t understand it at the time, not without my soul, but I get it now. You were right.”

    “No. Listen, kid, you don’t have to lie—”

    “I’m not. I was dangerous. I know you never _wanted_ to hurt me, but if you didn’t, I could have caused… this.” He gestures around vaguely, in a way that Dean assumes is meant to indicate the apocalypse. “If it wasn’t Chuck, it would’ve been me.” His tone brightens once more. “Anyways, it’ll be okay now! When I come back, I’ll still have my soul. That’s good, right?”

    “Yes, that’s very good,” Cas answers.

    “Still—” Dean begins.

    “Dean, there’s nothing to be sorry about,” Jack says seriously. “I forgive you.”

    Dean chokes up a bit, despite himself. “Yeah, okay,” he mumbles, head down. He scratches the back of his neck as if he could peel off his tension like a film over his skin.

    “You guys were great to me. I loved being here. You were great dads,” Jack says, and that last statement seems to be another targeted reassurance to Dean. “Can I come back here? When it’s all over?”

    “Of course, Jack,” Sam says. “Of course.”

    “I just thought with Mary…”

    Dean has a pang of sorrow at that thought, but he pushes it away. “Water under the bridge. You didn’t have a soul; you couldn’t control yourself.” The guilt on Jack’s face shows well enough that Dean knows this never would have happened if it wasn’t for Jack’s sacrifice for him in the first place. “When we beat Chuck, we’ll just start fresh. How does that sound?”

    Jack smiles. “That sounds great.”

    Billie nods the tiniest bit and lays her hand on Jack’s shoulder.

    He looks back at them with wide eyes. “I think it’s time to go. For now.”

    “The longer he’s on Earth, there are more chances for God to detect him,” Billie explains.

    “And we don’t want that,” Jack says.

    The adult Winchesters nod at him solemnly. Cas says, “We’ll miss you. We love you, Jack.”

    “I know. I love you, too. I’ll see you soon.” With that, the black substance of the Empty surrounds him again, but Dean notes that Jack looks peaceful and unperturbed to be going back. After a moment, the darkness folds in on itself and disappears.

    Dean doesn’t know if this whole plan of Billie’s will work, especially since he doesn’t even know _what_ it is. But he does know that, if they have a chance to get Jack back, they’re gonna take it. “What do we do now?” Dean asks Billie with renewed determination.

    “Bring your people together. You won’t be the front lines, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be used. After that, stay ready. There may not be much warning before it’s time for you to jump into battle.”

    Sam says, “We can do that.” Dean and Cas nod in agreement.

    “Good,” Billie says, adjusting her coat. “Then I’ll be seeing you soon, Winchesters.” With that, she vanishes.

    There is a heavy pause before Sam asks, “Everyone okay?”

    “Yeah,” Dean rasps.

    “I never thought he’d end up in the Empty,” Cas blurts. “Not after the deal. I thought…” He trails off, realizing what he’s just confessed to.

    “The _what_?” Dean demands. “Cas, please tell me that you didn’t.”

    Cas looks at him like a deer in headlights. “I’m sorry. It was the only way to get him back.”

    “What did you trade?”

    Cas puffs up his chest, as if he’s getting ready for a fight. “I told the Shadow it could take me. It said it would come when I’m happiest.”

    Dean feels like he’s been doused in icy water. He runs a hand down his face, trying to stay grounded.

    “It was the only way we could bring him back the first time. I shouldn’t have kept it from you, but I knew you’d be mad,” Cas says, and Dean realizes that that’s directed at him.

    “Yeah, Cas, a little.”

    “Dean,” Sam scolds, but Dean isn’t done.

    He shakes his head. “Look,” Dean says. “I’m upset because I don’t want that to happen to you. And seeing you get taken like that would be just as bad as losing Jack.” He shifts. “But I get it,” he says. A weariness weighs down his bones. He’s tired of being angry with his loved ones. “You were just doing what you had to, to protect our kid.”

    Cas’s eyes are suspiciously shiny as he looks up.

    “You were a good dad, Cas. And you, too, Sam. You guys did a lot for him. Looked out for him.”

    “You were a good dad, too, Dean,” Cas says quietly.

    Dean just shrugs and turns away. But as he looks back on the joy on Jack’s face at their reunion, and the warmth in his hug, he thinks that maybe Cas isn’t that far off.


End file.
